Forgotton trips - Vienna

 Well, I am so busy lately that I even forgot to share my jorney to Vienna, quite time ago.

 Vienna is cold. Thats for sure.

 And grey in the winter months. Really, grey.

So, I went to the Stephansdom to pray. For sun. I am grey sick and have a lack of vitamin D.

 So, I prayed and watched out not to be too close to the candles because I could burn my fur. And that's not nice. At all. It would have been painful and very stinky.

 I wached how people fell at their knees and asked god to merry them. But he did not want to be in a commited relationship. Because too many people were asking for that.

And this all happend on December 29, at 16:47:49. I was thinking of someone at this time, but probably he would not have been happy to hear from me on his birthday. So, I kept silent and loved him in silence.

Today I begin a new life

Today, is Baba Marta. So, I got this beautiful bracelet and now I will be healthy and monkey beautiful for the whole year.

I am continuing reading my scrolls.So: "Today I begin a new life. Today I shed my old fur which hath, too long, suffered the bruises of failure and the wounds of mediocrity. Today I am born anew and my birthplace is a vineyward where there are bananas for all." I made some adjustments to the original version, I am a creative monkey. In truth, the only difference between thaose who failed and those who have succeeded lies in the difference of their habits. Good habits are the key to all succeess. And bad habits are the unlocked door to failure. Thus, I will form good habits and become their monkey.
This is the time. This is the place. I am the monkey. I will act now. Hope that I could feed you with my wisdom. Ok, not entirely mine. Og wrote the merety.

Critical Reading the Scroll Marked II or Nine

I will greet this day with love in my heart. For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. Muscle can split ina shield and even destroy life but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men and until I master this art I will remain no more than a peddler in the market place. I will make love my greatest weapon and non on whom I call can defend against its force. My reasoning they my counter; my speech they may distrust; my apparel they may disapprove; my face they may reject; and even my bargains may cause them suspicion; yet my love will melt all hearts like to the sun whose rays soften the coldest day.
And how will I do this, Og, my friend? I shall look on all things with love and shall be born again? Well, I am a monkey. I will love the sun, for it warms my bones (I do no have any, I am a toy-made). I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way; I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.
I will greet this day with love in my heart. Ok, I will do

Academy Awards special: 50 shades of fucked up

Well, even if kind of unrealistic and full of stereotypes, not a bad Academy Awards movie. The message of 50 shades of grey might be clear to those who know that kind of relationship.
For me, the story was kind of sad, because the love did not win and the guy was stuck in his past, ignoring and hiding his fears, pain and shame instead of dealing with them on his own and grow up and solve them. He was trying more to bring her obeying his rules, instead of breaking out of his fucked up understandings and make her and himself happy.
And she was a classical romantic and kind of funny, inexperienced and not realizing what does it mean to be really fucked up and how he is. Playing with him merely to his rules, brought her closer to him and she changed him bit. But for happily ever after, even for a movie was not enough. And he made her cry instead of happy.
What's the conclusion for me - you never can change a fucked up person no matter how much you love him. You can get fucked up instead. You can change him bit and this gives you a hope. You can show him that it could be different, but ultimately he is setting up the rules of his own life and he chose already for himself. Sadly, he had bad things to deal with, but who hasn't (even not to this extent)? He feels safer "emotionally unreachable" in his own mind not realizing that he is emotionally reachable and he already lost his guard.
however even if he wants to change, its a process which takes lots of time. And in changing he would be slapping her out of habit, but who wants to be slapped and humiliated when you love? Nobody who is romantic and put value on love and himself/herself. So, she walks away realizing that she cannot fix anything and leaves him with his shades of grey. The world is just colored and if he doesn't want to see it and open up...its sad, but its his choice.
that was my monkey review. 50 shades of grey won the Oscar?

The greatest salesmonkey in the world

i am reading this book the greatest salesman in the world by og mandino. Well, he wrote my thoughts more than 50 years ago. The world is a strange place full with things you know, with things you don't know and with things somewhere inbetween. Intuition.
og said:
Sooner or later all mankind will realize that the greatest cure for all the ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrow and crimes of humanity rests solely in acts of love. Love is the greatest gift. It is the divine spark that everywhere produces and restores life. To each and every one of us, love gives us the power to work miracles with your own life and those we touch.
well, my tiny heart is full of love and I wish that all my friends and their families are doing good.
Treasure the friendship you receive above all. It will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished

The pianist

I am small talented monkey and I showed my talend on my way

I barely could reach the piano

So, I tried with my secret powers

And it worked!!! I controlled it with my brain

 Amaizing!

Clever monkey with brain power

On the monkey road again

Well, I visit some friends for Christmas

And as always, I watch out for my safety

After I arrived in Vienna and found a comfortable seat, I had some cola light

 And a sip more

Then I had a second one, a real one  and drove a little bit while waiting for my second flight

Small monkey on a huge truck

 Airports make me think about things

 To think and plan

Think about it

Sucess can take you where character cannot sustain you. Well, I thruly believe in that and I am very thankful for all inspiring people who live and make us think about things and speak up.

 

Never get tired of watching this.

He is very human and reasonable.

The Slap

This is how a slap starts. A slap is an expression of weakness, some might say.

The Spider

Well, look who I found

Hi spider

Nice spider

let me pet you

with my nose, fuck it bite me, so I told it to my doormat

it wanted to check it too

it is really a spider, a poison one maybe, said my doormat fox

should i eat it? aked the doormat fox

No, doormat fox, you are gourmet and not a spider eater

Here's to the crazy ones

 The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers.

The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules.

And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human and monkey race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, they are genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Hope for paws

Listen to the mustn'ts, monkey.

Listen to the don'ts.

Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts.

Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me...

Anything can happen, monkey. Anything can be.

The kitten told me that my baby bear will always live in my monkey heart. And if it is really my baby bear, it will always find the way back to me. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us. And the world will live as one. As a close friend always says imagination is stronger than knowledge, dreams are more powerful than facts, hope always triumphs over experience, laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.

How to get over a loss of a good friend

Well, I don't know. You never know the last time you are seeing someone. You cannot know when the last argument will happen, or the last time you had dinner together and

they helped you to reach the food with your tiny arms

or the last time you looked into their tiny blue eyes and thanked the little kitten that they were in your life. 

 After they were gone? That was all you thought about. Day and night. My good friend baby bear is dead. I wrote often about him. With him I started my traveling monkey life. I was partly brought to life by him.

With him, we were Buddhists. Fake ones. We had good laugh together. He was putting me on his fat belly to watch movies. Now, he died. Now, from this painting I have to delete the bear. I did this painting one year ago and found it last week. Well, it made me sad.

 It sucks that you miss people or bears like that. You think you've accepted that someone is out of your life, that you've grieved and it's over, and then again. One little thing, an anniversary, and you feel like you've lost that person all over again.

But I won’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form. The kitten gave me nice earing to wear. and told me not to grieve. Yes, the baby bear died. But the little kitten told me that a mildly boring person took his form.

What do I care for it, little kitten? WTF? I wanted my baby bear back and not to know that its shell walks around in the form of some pathetic guy. Or to sit on Buddha face. The baby bear died, for Christ's sake!!!
 

How to move on

Well, if I knew a good and painless way, I would share. Things in life are never black and white and if you are thinking too much about it, you will stick in the past. Or in hopes that things will change. But be realistic. They won't. Realizing this, will help you to forget the good things that you think you've lost. They are the ones that still bound you to the past. Like my mother says, I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

Last year, I loved someone with my whole heart. In the way that only the naive can love.

It made me sad and sick. It made me different. More I cared for the one I loved, less I cared for myself. The way I loved made me weak. I realized that the one I love did not loved me. That the one I loved never put a single effort to make things work. That the one I loved never cared how I felt. That the one I loved was not able to feel the way I felt. Was not able to forgive and be gentle the way I was. I did not deserved this. To put myself down, to lose the faith in love, to do things when you feel it's wrong only not to hurt him.

One day I asked myself - do I really with all my monkey intelligence think that I deserve this - someone who does not care for me and I care for. No, I did not. So, I pushed him away with everything I could. I wanted to free myself. And I did. Good decision. Wrong decision to give him chances to come back. I'm guilty of giving people more chances than they deserve but when I'm done, I'm done.

So, what is my advice from my monkey experience. Don't think it. Don't try to give a chance to someone who did not show you that he deserves it. Life is short and sometimes in life you don't get more chances. And you lose inevitable the people and things you cannot appreciate, because you never put efforts to win them overand to keep them.

Don't try to close your heart, live through the pain you feel and breath. Breath deeply. You can't close your heart forever. And that is not the purpose of life. With every day it will get better. And the minute you are ready to open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here.

And don't block your feelings. They are there to feel them. If you still love that's good. Just realize how wonderful and lovable you are if you are able to love. We mostly love not because the ones we love are perfect or good, but because we in ourselves are able to love. And if someone did not love you back is just because he is unable to do so. You can't change it. Accept it. Forgive and do not blame. You made his life better. You made your life better.

And true love is always mutual. I might be bit selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. Never forget that.

So, how to move on? Just accept that you did all the things that depended on you. You gave the chances you could. You tried to correct the mistakes you did. You showed your love. If nothing came back, there is nothing you can do about. And remember, life is short and it is better to spend it with people who love you and show it to you everyday, instead to waste it to win over someone who will never be there for you.