Hope for paws

Listen to the mustn'ts, monkey.

Listen to the don'ts.

Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts.

Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me...

Anything can happen, monkey. Anything can be.

The kitten told me that my baby bear will always live in my monkey heart. And if it is really my baby bear, it will always find the way back to me. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us. And the world will live as one. As a close friend always says imagination is stronger than knowledge, dreams are more powerful than facts, hope always triumphs over experience, laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.

How to get over a loss of a good friend

Well, I don't know. You never know the last time you are seeing someone. You cannot know when the last argument will happen, or the last time you had dinner together and

they helped you to reach the food with your tiny arms

or the last time you looked into their tiny blue eyes and thanked the little kitten that they were in your life. 

 After they were gone? That was all you thought about. Day and night. My good friend baby bear is dead. I wrote often about him. With him I started my traveling monkey life. I was partly brought to life by him.

With him, we were Buddhists. Fake ones. We had good laugh together. He was putting me on his fat belly to watch movies. Now, he died. Now, from this painting I have to delete the bear. I did this painting one year ago and found it last week. Well, it made me sad.

 It sucks that you miss people or bears like that. You think you've accepted that someone is out of your life, that you've grieved and it's over, and then again. One little thing, an anniversary, and you feel like you've lost that person all over again.

But I won’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form. The kitten gave me nice earing to wear. and told me not to grieve. Yes, the baby bear died. But the little kitten told me that a mildly boring person took his form.

What do I care for it, little kitten? WTF? I wanted my baby bear back and not to know that its shell walks around in the form of some pathetic guy. Or to sit on Buddha face. The baby bear died, for Christ's sake!!!
 

How to move on

Well, if I knew a good and painless way, I would share. Things in life are never black and white and if you are thinking too much about it, you will stick in the past. Or in hopes that things will change. But be realistic. They won't. Realizing this, will help you to forget the good things that you think you've lost. They are the ones that still bound you to the past. Like my mother says, I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

Last year, I loved someone with my whole heart. In the way that only the naive can love.

It made me sad and sick. It made me different. More I cared for the one I loved, less I cared for myself. The way I loved made me weak. I realized that the one I love did not loved me. That the one I loved never put a single effort to make things work. That the one I loved never cared how I felt. That the one I loved was not able to feel the way I felt. Was not able to forgive and be gentle the way I was. I did not deserved this. To put myself down, to lose the faith in love, to do things when you feel it's wrong only not to hurt him.

One day I asked myself - do I really with all my monkey intelligence think that I deserve this - someone who does not care for me and I care for. No, I did not. So, I pushed him away with everything I could. I wanted to free myself. And I did. Good decision. Wrong decision to give him chances to come back. I'm guilty of giving people more chances than they deserve but when I'm done, I'm done.

So, what is my advice from my monkey experience. Don't think it. Don't try to give a chance to someone who did not show you that he deserves it. Life is short and sometimes in life you don't get more chances. And you lose inevitable the people and things you cannot appreciate, because you never put efforts to win them overand to keep them.

Don't try to close your heart, live through the pain you feel and breath. Breath deeply. You can't close your heart forever. And that is not the purpose of life. With every day it will get better. And the minute you are ready to open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here.

And don't block your feelings. They are there to feel them. If you still love that's good. Just realize how wonderful and lovable you are if you are able to love. We mostly love not because the ones we love are perfect or good, but because we in ourselves are able to love. And if someone did not love you back is just because he is unable to do so. You can't change it. Accept it. Forgive and do not blame. You made his life better. You made your life better.

And true love is always mutual. I might be bit selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. Never forget that.

So, how to move on? Just accept that you did all the things that depended on you. You gave the chances you could. You tried to correct the mistakes you did. You showed your love. If nothing came back, there is nothing you can do about. And remember, life is short and it is better to spend it with people who love you and show it to you everyday, instead to waste it to win over someone who will never be there for you.

Starting a new blog

I am starting a brand new blog and a new life as a monkey

http://monkey.beautybites.org

Monkey thoughts

You are the books you read, the films you watch, the music you listen to, the people you meet, the dreams you have, the conversations you engage in. You are what you take from these. You are the sound of the ocean, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner. You are a collective of every experience you have had in your life. You are every single second of every single day. So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge and existence. Let the words run through your veins and let the colors fill your mind until there is nothing left to do but explode. There are no wrong answers. Inspiration is everything. Sit back, relax, and take it all in. Now, go out and create and eat something.
This sounds exactly like my monkey thoughts. I projected it in human heads

Sharing things

read this. I like it.

We try so hard to hide everything we're really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions, as if it's somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life.

I am not we. I am a friend of the little kitten. It always says what it feels and thinks and I love it for being so real and an inspiration for me. It helped me being myself. And that's a risk. Being a toy. A living one.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.

and I want to be everything

You are probably wondering

why did I take so long break. I was on sabbatical. Actually on monkeybatical. Was visiting friends and travelled a bit. Will start writing again.
Also I gained some money betting on horses.

They smell really bad.

 But are beautiful.

 And really fast.

I wanted to caress and hug them.

 But they were too fast and running like crazy.

I won minus 9.80 euro. But thats life. And I had a good eventhough smelly day

Monkey Business Startup

I am about to start a business venture and search for business partners. If you are interested write me

 We can talk it over a latte

 I am one very intelligent monkey and I have influential friends. Two great brains and one doormat

 My idea is brilliant. Power and money to the small, smart monkeys